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December 5, 2007
Meet Dave Kaplan
From time to time we like to give you the opportunity to get to know the people here at Logos. Today we want to introduce you to Dave Kaplan. Dave has been with Logos since December of 1993, just four months short of veteran Rick Brannan, who recently celebrated 14 years at Logos. The way Logos takes care of its employees and the great people and work environment are two things that make Dave love working at Logos.
Dave spends most of his time on the phone talking with our wonderful customers. Interacting with so many different people makes his job a joy, but he finds it especially rewarding knowing that he is helping to provide thousands of people with a phenomenal tool that can assist them in their walk with God.
In his spare time, Dave enjoys playing chess, which he describes as "the most personal game ever invented," and building Popsicle stick houses and burning them down with his son, Gregory (so he can learn how quickly a fire can consume a house). He also loves peppers and usually has a couple in his pocket.
"Kaplanisms"
Dave is perhaps best known by those in the sales department for his unique sayings, affectionately called "Kaplanisms." Dave has a gifta lot like Yogi Berra didof unintentionally modifying well-known expressions, combining them together, or just making up his own!
Here's an example. One morning Dave came into the office apparently wearing too much cologne, and the other guys were giving him a hard time. Dave responded, "I only put a dab on both of my necks."
The guys in the sales department have been compiling a list of sayings over the last year or so. We were originally going to share them anonymously, but the guys were able to convince Dave that he might get some good publicity and increase his sales!
So without further ado, here are Dave's "Kaplanisms":
- Talking with a customer whom he couldn't understand at all: "Im as deaf as a bat!"
- "I cannot count the countless evenings I spent talking . . . ."
- Trying to convince a customer: "Sir, I can assure you that I seriously doubt I cant make you happy."
- "Thats like shootin' an arrow through a bale of hay and not hittin' any straw!"
- Explaining to customers to wait until they get the software before worrying about how to install it: "Youre trying to land an airplane, and we havent even gotten into the cockpit yet."
- Explaining to customers to close down the software before installing an update: "Its like changing the spark plugs while the motor is runnin'."
- " . . . as happy as a tornado in a cornfield."
- "I walked outside this morning and my woods smelled so woodsy!"
- "If someone buys you a car, you dont really own it."
- "For once Im finishing my day with my is crossed and my ts . . . how does that saying go again?"
- "Let's get down to logic here."
- "I can guarantee you we dont print like the other guys software!"
- "Thats on Pre-Publicationthats short for Pre-Pub."
- "Yeah, its all over. Now I can stop being less paranoid."
- "I heard very clearly, in my peripheral vision, someone say . . . ."
- "Are you ready for this? Let me put it this way . . . . I will say this . . . ."
- "That's as messed up as a soup sandwich."
- Telling people about his flight to Belgium: "It was a 9 hour drive flying!"
If you know Dave or have dealt with him on the phone, leave him a message in the comments!
If you'd like to work with one of Logos' best sales employees, you can reach Dave directly at (360) 685-2304.
Posted by Phil Gons at December 5, 2007 6:00 AM
Comments
I bought my "Silver" from Dave about three months ago. Now I can put a face with the voice and name. Thanks Dave!
PS: I couldn't never be more thankful! (Does that qualify as a "Kaplanism?!")
Posted by: Randy at December 5, 2007 7:18 AM
Wonderful sayings!:)
I'm sure glad to have met (virtually) one of the virtuosos in sales. Everyone with whom I've talked over the last 5 years+ has been just great!
Many thanks.
Steve
Posted by: Steve Maling at December 5, 2007 7:48 AM
Once you know Dave all of these saying become all the more humorous.
Posted by: Bryan at December 5, 2007 8:54 AM
I have purchased books from Dave since I started with Logos back in the 1.6 days. He has also been a joy to call and prefer a human voice over the computer ordering any day! Keep up the good work Dave.
Posted by: Dan at December 5, 2007 9:35 AM
I had the pleasure of meeting DC on the phone a year ago when I bought my SS Logos software.
He did as you described, he went the extra mile to make sure that I had the right package.
As the "voice of Logos" for me at that time...he did a great job!
thanks Dave,
bob
Posted by: Robert at December 5, 2007 9:57 AM
Classic! This is great. I love the quotes.
Posted by: Todd Price at December 5, 2007 10:22 AM
When you call in and the voice says "this is Dave Kaplan" you have to smile and know everything is going to go exactly right.
Thanks for being there for the right products and the right answers Dave.
Posted by: Pastor Dave at December 5, 2007 1:35 PM
Woo-hoo! Hilarious! Dave, I laughed hysterically as I read your post. You get my vote for Logos mascot.
Posted by: Mike at December 5, 2007 1:56 PM
He is Mr. Positive and Mr. Energy! A true joy to be around. It is great to have him on our team. Here is some wisdom of the day for you . . . "When you come to a fork in the road, take it"
Thanks Dave!
Andy
Posted by: Andy Anderson at December 5, 2007 2:59 PM
Dave, in the six years that I worked with you at Logossix great yearsthe the funniest thing I can remember you saying is, "I am so fat that I have smaller fat men orbiting around me." Logos is a great place to work and I would still be there if you hadn't moved from Oak Harbor to Bellingham. Say hello to everyone for me. Ken
Posted by: Ken Mann at December 5, 2007 4:47 PM
Well written!
Dave is my uncle in love!
And boy to we love this BUBBA BEAR!!!
Posted by: Candice at December 5, 2007 10:54 PM
This post just made me smile and laugh. During the 4+ years I worked for Logos, Dave was one of those people I just loved to see each morning. He always had something kind and funny to say. He goes above and beyond for his customers AND for his friends.
Posted by: Nicole Dossey at December 10, 2007 2:38 PM
I've never had a salesman work for the customer like Dave has for me. Logos, he is worth what you pay him and then some. I'm a very happy customer thanks to Dave.
Posted by: Charles Sebree at December 12, 2007 8:41 PM
It was a pleasure meeting you & may your 2008 be blessed!
Richard Forinash
Los Angeles, CA.
Posted by: Richard Forinash at January 10, 2008 4:14 PM
David is the best... I look forward to future purchases with him for both the product, and how many Kaplanisms I might be treated with during the call. Great service and knowledge level. He is an awesome asset to Logos. I bought a Silver, sent my dad to him to get a Silver and will return again.
Posted by: Kevin Taylor at February 14, 2008 11:04 AM
Dave is probably the best sales person I've ever spoken with over the phone. He is gracious and fun and takes the time to necessary to ensure customer satisfaction.
There is nothing like calling to purchase a great product and rather than experiencing a standard order placing call you get to know and laugh with a great guy like Dave.
Dave, I enjoyed reading the bio and having a face to go with the voice. I'm with you on the chess, peppers and creating your own unique phrases (I live there).
Posted by: Arthur Story at April 21, 2008 12:45 PM
I agree with the comments about Dave. I just ordered Logos Scholar's Gold from Dave, and he is "gold" for Logos. Going beyond the call of duty, he proved a big help to me. He'll be my man at Logos.
Posted by: Bill Moore at May 22, 2008 7:44 PM
Dave has certainly opened my eyes to Logos! Within one day of speaking to him I realized what I was missing out on. I went Silver through Dave and I look forward to future purchases through him. Be blessed in all your endeavors my friend.
Posted by: Armando Ballart at August 19, 2008 7:22 PM